Pit Viper: A Gear Review

So you wanna score a ski bunny? You’re not gonna stand out wearing those promo sunnies you found on the bar last Winter. Take our word for it- nothing screams you’re a “Ski Town Legend” like a pair of Pit Vipers. I’d dare to say they could even give your run-of-the-mill Jerry a chance.

It’s time to take your style to the next level and you’re in luck: Pit Viper has a new All-Star lineup that is Ski-Bum tested, SNOCRU Approved.

The Pit Viper Lineup

pit viper sunglasses

Pit Viper product review from left to right.

THE PEACH PANTHER

Life’s too short to wear lame shades.  Get a pair of these faded specs and be Spring Break ready!  These low-light lenses are perfect for sporting at night or for those days spent in the clouds!

-Adjustable Arms

-Solar and Ballistic Protection

-Wind Protection w/ Wrap-Around Design

THE GOLD STANDARD

If you are trying to look like the King of the Mountain, then look no further than The Gold Standard. Are they polarized? Yes, because the future’s bright, you’re a BOSS.

– Adjustable Arms

– Polarized Lenses

– Solar Protection

THE MERICA MIRRORED

You’re from America and you want everyone to know.  Rock that Red, White, and Blue proudly with a pair of these shades!  Built to Make America SEXY Again, the Merika Mirrored are guaranteed to dub you “Babe Lincoln”.  

–  Adjustable Arms

– Solar and Ballistic Protection

– Wind Protection w/ Wrap-Around Design

The Durability Game is Tight

We all want quality gear that is going to last. But let’s be real, we know some of us just can’t have nice things. Good thing Pit Viper shades were built for durability. Designed for those who go hard- these specs can withstand drops, drags, drive-overs and your occasional stiff-arm to the face. Are you a Bull in a China Shop? If the answer is yes – You NEED these.

Pit Viper even backs up their products with a full warranty if you’re able to break these suckers. But you’re gonna have to prove it with a DRAMATIC reenactment video:

Pit Viper kills the durability game, but they aren’t designed without flaws.  Typically, when products are built for toughness, they tend to lack ease of use.  While it is awesome that they are equipped with adjustable arms, we found that it is not a walk in the park to change the length.  The arms can get stuck at certain lengths and it is difficult to swiftly move between adjustments.  NOT ideal while you’re on the run or re-fitting them for your ski bunny.

Don’t get us wrong, these shades are sexy as hell but there’s a time and a place for everything.  Some situations simply just can’t handle the energy Pit Vipers will manifest.

For your safety, we’d like to outline the places where you should and should not be sporting these Bad Larrys:

Do’s:

  Apres Everything.

–  Gaper Day and/or all Spring Skiing.

–   First Day of School.

–   In bed.

–   Graduation.

–   Rollerblading.

–   SPRING BREAK.

–   Air-Punch Dancing

Don’ts:

–  Meeting the Parents.

–  Mother’s Day Brunch.

–  Any and All Court Appearances.

–  First Dates.

–  Job Interviews.

–  Funerals.

–  Anywhere that Party Poopers congregate.

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